Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Humko Deewana(MAD) kar gaya



Who the heck is the person in that picture??? Can't place him anywhere? Let me help you out...imagine him with a beard and a baseball cap.

There you are...of course, it is our own "beloved" Himeshbhai (I know i dont live in Gujarat anymore, but old habits die hard). Its just that with the Ganesh Puja season back here, and Pune, with its omnipresent pandals (Pune averages one pandal every 100 meters of the so called roads), definitely doesn’t have much choice when it comes to music. As a result, some ol' feelings are rekindled and here I am, with another round of my PDA (Public display of "Affection", the latest acronym I have learned, thanks to TOI). Though Nikhil is the one who got me thinking on these lines…

What 'use' can we put Himesh reshammiya songs to?? These are what i came up with...

1. Nikhil asks: Got anything for a headache?
Vamsee Replies: Lots of Himesh songs...want me to share the folder over LAN?

2. You have recently launched a new brand of razor...u can use himesh's songs for "BEFORE" and Coffee-with-Karan clips for "AFTER".

3. Himesh Concerts on LOC & POK: No need of all those peace talks and Agra summits. One concert, and all the terrorists will vacate the place in no time. So what if the people also run away, all we want is the land and the flora/fauna, right?

4. Introducing a 4th degree of torture: Himesh songs...Sources reveal that Al Gharib is using them on prisoners and this has the human rights activists raising a lot of hue and cry.

5. Ganesh Mandal: You have ur exams going (exams happen almost all around the year now a days) and the Ganesh Mandal near your house is celebrating noisily with loudspeakers n all. Get back at them by secretly replacing their "Jai Ganesh Deva" CDs with Himesh CDs.

6. End of India's Olympic Medal Drought: We are the only country in the world who has Himesh. Let our scientists work on him and develop anti-Himesh vaccines for all our athletes. And then, play Himesh songs at full volume at the 2016 Delhi Olympic games...

7. Set it as hello tune for someone u "love", Airtel now gives u an option of caller specific hello tune.

8. Ur GF/wife's name is Sayyoni. Well, "I LOVE U SAYYONI...."

9. UNITED WE STAND AGAINST HIMESH: Use them as a riot-control measure. When the fighting groups find a common enemy (Himesh songs), they will stop fighting, join hands and that should bring an end to Godhras and Babri Masjids.

10. You own a Bajaj Platina and you want ur ringtone to complement your bike.

11. The new-age Exorcist: Himesh songs can become the latest tool of your next door exorcist(Na na, your neighbour is not one, I was just using the phrase)...one songs, and good bye ghosts (After all, even they were Humans once).

12. D Cold Total ads : The punchline reads :"One dose will turn ur kid from Himesh to SP"

13. Use it in training sessions in IT companies.
Do Tarah ki hoti hai "JAVA"..............
Mar "JAVA" , Mit "JAVA"

14. Having early morning bowel-movement problems? The sure shot solution....HIMESH Songs!
(Ek bar aaja aaja, aaja aaja, aajaa...)

Monday, August 07, 2006

Water, Water......EVERYWHERE!



I hear thunder, I hear thunder.

Hark don't you? Hark don't you?

Pitter, patter raindrops,

Pitter, patter raindrops,

I'm wet through;

so are you.

This nursery rhyme really sums up my past few days. It been raining cats and dogs and every god damn animal on the streets. Really sickening. Added to that the pathetic roads of this city, makes me dread every time i step of my house.

Anyway, yesterday was FRIENDSHIP DAY. When I got the first of the smses at 12 midnight (what a perfect way to disturb a sleeping soul!), it suddenly stuck me that i don't know why this day is celebrated! I mean, there had to be some reason, like valentine's day being St. Valentine's birthday and children's day being Nehru's b'day (Exact 9 months the difference, what coincidence!). I asked Dipu about it in the morning, and turns out, even he didnt know. Times of India had no special article on this (I was expecting a whole supplement, going by their usual standards). So I turned to my most trusted source of information, dear ol' wiki. Surprise surprise, even wiki did not have a proper explanation for that. All it said was that this day was first celebrated in US in 1935 due to some declaration of the U.S. congress. How strange! So it continued through out the day and late into the night, the barrage of "happy friendship day" messages in all it varied forms. Poems in English, Hindi(Hinglish) shayari, witty remarks, picture messages or just simple plain texts. Plain silly to serious senti ones. But the best part is, they kept me entertained throughout the day.

How did i spend this day? In the best way possible (specially in these bloody rains):

In my room, wrapped in a blanket and enjoying an 8 hour long F.R.I.E.N.D.S marathon..hows that!

Btw, I watched Tokyo Drift over the weekend along with Soumen. It was really awesome. Drifting at its best! I really enjoyed the movie, never mind what TOI had to say about it. If u ask me, its a MUST WATCH!

Times of India though carried a very interesting thought :

"Friendship marks a life even more deeple than love. Love risks degeneration into obsession, but friendship is never anything but sharing"

My take on that :

AMEN!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Aamhi Puneri (!!!)

Ah, finally some time and something to write about. But so much has happened around me since my last blog that I have no idea where to start. Since leaving college almost two months ago, there has been the short vacation at home (which did not even last a month), the sudden call from IBM, the eventual joining and the subsequent training, the initial struggles in this Punya-Nagari (Pune), the subsequent settling down, the FIFA WC and so many other things. So while I sit at my IBM office in Pune on a fine working day, listening to In the Shadows by Rasmus, supposedly reading up on some project documentation, lets have a look at all of them. For one, this will rid me of all the “interviews” that people subject me when I meet them online.

After vacation, I went home and planned out things for a nice long vacation. Popular consensus among the guys was that the joining date will be sometime in august. So I did everything to make sure my stay at home would be comfortable. Bought some novels, got a broadband connection at home, burned almost the entire movie collection on college LAN on DVDs and was eagerly looking forward to enjoy the whole of world cup. But then, one fine day, Karan calls up and says, “Dude, joining dates are here. Check your mail”. And when I open my yahoo mail, there it was…IBM beckons!

Yes, I am finally in the corporate world. I am yet to see Madhur Bhandarkar’s Corporate, so I have no idea what image it projects of the corporate world. But as far as my experience goes, so far its been one helluva ride. Starting with travelling to Pune aboard Air Deccan (It was my first time in Air Deccan, and I could easily see why it’s a low cost airline), I arrived in this new city which I have heard so much about. Technically speaking, this is not my first time in the city, but my previous visit was so long ago that I don’t even remember when it was. But let me tell you frankly, this city has been a huge disappointment for me. Being used to wide, spacious and swanky roads and excellent civic amenities in Nagpur, Hyderabad and then Surat, Pune has come as a big shock to me. Pathetic roads, horrible public transport system and even worse traffic (People, your vehicles have something known as a horn, use it!). Added to that was my accommodation woes. Had it not been for some of my college seniors, it would have been really difficult for me. Here I must thank Charan, Dhir, Sushil, Swaraj and Billu for coming to my rescue. Guys, you have been amazing hosts. And thanks to you, I did not miss out on one of the biggest sporting bonanza on this planet, the FIFA WC ’06.

Speaking of which, what an amazing world cup that was! Germany got things rolling with a goal fest in the very first match. My team Argentina looked strong to lift the cup especially during their thrashing of Serbia & Montenegro. I was supporting Argentina and Holland from the very beginning. (Don’t ask me why Holland). Holland could not live up to the expectations, being outwitted by Luiz Felipe Scholari. And more heart breaks for me when Argentina got knocked out too (peaked too early maybe?). After that, Italy it was for me. With the pair of Buffon and Cannavaro at the back, it was only a matter of the forwards finding the net. And luckily, I got to watch the final in the best possible atmosphere…in a hostel with a totally football crazy crowd. How did that happen? Well I must thank the people who painted Meena Thackeray’s statue black. Thanks to the subsequent riots that broke out in Pune, I got stuck at Singhad collage where I had gone to visit Bamboo, Bajrangi, GA n others. I was forced to stay overnight at their hostel and there was my opportunity. Now bamboo was rooting for France, so we had our own rivalry going on. And the match surely lived up to its expectations. But ironically, it was three of France’s biggest heroes of ‘98 that led to their defeat. First, it was Fabien Barthez’s blunder that resulted in Italy’s equaliser. Then, Zidane did what he did (enough has been written and said about it). And to cap it all, it was David Trezeguet who missed that all important penalty in the shoot out. Understandably, while I was elated at the end of the match, Bamboo was literally in tears.

So after almost 5 full days (holidays at that) of house-hunting, and after looking at almost 20 different flats, I finally found a place worth living. And luckily, I found a decent enough roommate having similar interests as me. But there are people who say my choice of roommate has taken a “dip”. Why? If it was Ayan Ghosh (a.k.a. dobby) in my final year not so long ago, now it is Dip-ayan Ghosh. Added to that, they are both bongs (obviously) with NCR connections! Dobby has this theory that I missed him so much, that I took out an ad in the newspaper to find a roommate similar to himself. Ha ha!

Recently, we got our first pay cheques (I am not telling you how much it was). So I and Dipayan thought we should celebrate by watching a movie. We went to the multiplex, and found out that the only tickets that were available were for Krish (arrgh!). Even though neither of us was particularly inclined, we did not want to go back home without watching a movie. So we sat down to enjoy ourselves. And enjoy we did! We could identify so many movies that Krish(or is Krrish) was “inspired” from…Superman, Spiderman, Final Destination, Matrix etc etc.
Also, we enjoyed the commercials in the middle of the movie. What? Didn’t you see any? Oh com’on! If I am not wrong, these were the products advertised during the movie: Tide, Bournvita, Faber Castell, Vicks Inhaler, Siyaram’s, Lays, Hero Honda, Samsung and Karizma. Now if you missed even one of these, there are only the following explanations:
1. You enjoyed the movie so much that you did not pay attention to them (i.e. you are a huge Hrithik Roshan fan).
2. You found the movie so boring that you dozed off.
3. You saw the movie with your girlfriend/boyfriend, doing you-know-what rather than watching the movie.
4. You did not see the movie at all.

And if I missed out on any more, then the reason is none of the above.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Spell check please!

This is inspired by chinsi's blog...

Check out these spellings by one of the most famous "prof" of our mech department.











They say a pictures says a 1000 words...that makes this my biggest blog! ;-)

Saturday, April 29, 2006

A Lazy Sunday Morning...

Frankly speaking, the only reason i am writing this blog is that i am really bored. The world has come to a standstill. I read the newspaper today after almost a week, and the news remains the same. Absolutely nothing new to read about. I know I am in the middle of my semester exams (the last one at that) and I should be studying for the next one, but it is still two days away. And as a mechanical engg in SVR, its a big crime to start off so early. Specially when your subject is something as dull as TQM (I am sure most of u out there know what it stands for, so please tell me about it). Just went through the stuff once some time back, and I realised then itself that my answer paper is gonna be a jumble of the following words :
1) Customer Satisfaction
2) Training for the workers
3) Continuous Evaluation
4) Self-Improvement
5) Scientific Methods
Mix them up, and make the full usage of the oh-so-flexible and versatile English language, and voila - thats my answer paper! It pays to have a decent knowledge of the language, u can easily play around with words and escape scot-free. Trust me, it works.

As for my previous exams, well...things were going fine till "Friday, the 28th" happened. Easily the biggest disaster of my illustrious academic career (yup...i am serious), the only consolation I have is that i have already seen the worse. And the next two being not so difficult, i can safely say i am almost done with engineering. Looking back, i was not so hard.

Amazingly, we have been getting internet 24 hours a day for the past one week. Yup, exactly the same time as our exams started. What sort of conspiracy is this! Dont they wanna let us go out of this place with some peace? We thought that if somehow we manage some decent scores this time around, maybe it will make up for all the previous catastrophes. 'Cause as they say, Alls well that ends well. But it was not to be. And with the orkut fever reaching it's peak, the guys end up spending almost 4-5 hours per day only on orkut. People like Pole and Hunk have their scrap counts increased @ almost 100/day!!! Unfortunately, urs truly has also fallen into the trap. Its like, ek chapter ho gaya...lets orkut for a while. So u study for one hour, and to compensate (!) for it, Ur orkut for almost 2 hours!!! Its is so goddamn addictive!

Now that i am coming to the end of my wonderful hostel life, one thing i am gonna miss the most is the college LAN. What an amazing storehouse it is! One stop destination for all ur computer needs. How can i forget those hours and hours that i have spent on LAN playing AOE? So many things to see, so many things to do. I was counting yesterday, and the number of movies available on LAN was close to 150!!! and this i am talking about only Hollywood stuff. Just dont know how i am gonna manage my comp at home with the LAN. I have spent the past 50 hours trying to collect all the stuff that i can, and burn it away on CDs/DVDs so that i can carry some part of it along. My dear ol' Compaq Presario is working overtime at the limit of its processing powers. Let us see how AMD Athalon holds out to this work load. And while all the work is going on in the background, this is the only thing i can do without using up too much of my CPU resources.

Now with the mouth watering sunday lunch around the corner, time for me to hit the showers (though no such thing exists in the hostel). A sumptuous lunch, and then to do what i am best at...
Zzzzzz!

Saturday, April 22, 2006

49.5%

The decision of PM and Arjun Singh last week of getting reservations in premier institutes like IIMs, IITs and NITs raised a huge furore on virtual world too. Messages being pased around, strikes being called, orkut communities and yahoo groups being created, and tons of other such activities. but i wonder how many of them realise that this is not going to help in anyway. I mean, do they seriously think that our PM and president spend most of their time on orkut!!!

Anyway, check out this interesting scenario:

Suppose we have job reservations in all the fields. I mean ALL of them. Even sports. Com'on, aren't they called "professionals". Even that is a job.

Let's start the reservation with our cricket team too. BCCI should have 10 percent reservation for Muslims. 30 percent for OBC, SC/ST like that. Cricket rules should be modified accordingly. Theboundary circle should be reduced for an SC/ST player.The four hit by an OBC player should be considered as a six and a six hit by a OBC player should be counted as 8 runs. An OBC player scoring 60 runs should be declared should be declared as a century. We should influence ICC and make rules so that the pace bowlers like Shoaib akhtar should not bowl fast balls to our OBC player. Bowlers should bowl maximum speed of 80 kmph.

And then since there is only a minimum limit and no maximum, lets fill the whole indian team with them.

To hell with Chappel and his De Bono theories on thinking hats (6 colours at that!!!)

Dekhte hai phir world cup jeetne se kaun rokta hai!!!

WI, here we come.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Some things i find really irritating...

Ok...this is not something entirely orginal. But i saw a similar forward which got me thinking.
What are the things that I find irritating?
This is what I ended up with. Not necessarily a wholesome list, but just the things on top of my mind

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. This one just came into my mind, since its my birthday in another hour.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid a 100 bucks(yup surat is damn expensive) to come to the theatre and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, it couldn't be new.

8. When you are waiting for the bus (not in surat, but in hyderabad) and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

9. When they say, "Hey, what's up?". Its always the ceiling or the blue sky idiot.

Am pretty sure everyone of us has had a similar feeling sometime or other, but then why dont we stop saying such stupid stuff?