Thursday, January 04, 2007

Yr V Go

I just realised that my last post was just before Diwali. And here I am again, back with the same purpose. This way, my blog may soon turn into one of those SMSes from your friends that appear on the horizon only on festivals, anniversaries, birthdays and other such occasions. But then again, considering the number of festivals we Indians celebrate here, that would put me in the same league as maybe Seth or Guy (for the uninitiated, they are considered the blogging Gurus)!

Speaking of SMSes, unless you are a hermit who has taken refuge on top of Mt. Etna (If you are reading my blog, chances are you are not), you must be familiar with the SMS bombardment phenomenon that occurs around these “special” days. And statistics prove that New Year happens to be the worst of the lot. A typical student in a college or a guy working in an IT firm would average around 50 SMSes each, outgoing and incoming. In olden days (in terms of mobile revolution), this invariably led to networks getting jammed due to overload and hence, network operators resorted to blocking SMSes for a blanket period. But now, even they have become street smart. Instead, they have increased the rates of SMS for that particular day, thus not only saving themselves the trouble of jammed network, but also earning a few bucks in the process. Very smart. Seems to be the outcome of some new MBAs in their ranks.

Anyway, the SMSes that come our way (I am assuming you and me fall on the positive side of that average) tell a lot about the person who sends them. Atleast, from just reading the SMS, we can say something about the person on the other side. This is how :-

It all begins a few days before new year with something like this.

Don't open this for another 5 days...

(scroll down 2 or 3 screens)

Just as I thought, you couldn't wait...
Anyway Happy New Year in advance...remember, I may be the first one.

Nope, not a smart ass…I am sure he received it from someone else at a time when he had nothing better to do than forward it to me, and thus breaking the golden rule of originality (Originality is the art of hiding your source).

Around the same time, comes the new age SRK fan (Amitabh fan-Reloaded)

Happy New Year....
(scroll down)
Soch raha hai aaj kyun wish kiya?
Don jab chahata hai, tab wish karta hai...

Of course, a new entrant this year was the senti-wala…
As this year is coming to an end, I wish to THANK people who have touched various walks of my LIFE, in their own different ways!
Thoughtful FRIENDS who have shown their concern and have always been there for me. Life becomes meaningful by presence of such lovely friends like u!
Do remain so dear...always..take care and thanks once AGAIN!
(Check out the Caps)…
this from a guy who recently discovered the emotional side of himself (where the hell was that in college!)…read found a girlfriend, atlast!



And then, on the New Year eve, come:

The boring
Before the Networks get jammed –Wish you a Happy New Year 2@@7…the year which starts & ends on a Monday
(Whatever the second sentence is supposed to mean!)

and the not so boring
Isse pehle is 2007 ast ho,
2006 ka calender nasht ho,
aap nashe mein mast ho,
mobile ka network vyast ho,
dua he 2007 aapke liye jabardast ho!



Finally, on the D-Day, comes the real stuff. This includes:

The Professional one:
May all good things come your way as the year unfolds & God's bountiful blessings be upon you whole year through! Happy New Year...XYX n Family.
Expect this from your superiors at job or some uncles in the neighbourhood, or even some of your dad’s friends.

If you happen to have some girls in your circle of friends, expect something like this:
I wish you a fantastic January,
Lovable February,
Marvellous March,
Foolish April,
Enjoyable May,
Successful June,
Wonderful July,
Independent August,
Sizzling September,
Tastiest October,
Beautiful November,
Happiest December...Happy New Year...2007.

Then come the Wordsworth & Tennyson fans:
Wishes never turn old,
neither can be brought or sold.
They may reach you early or late,
but if true, turn away all the blues...
So here's wishing you Happy New Year.

Not far behind, would be our desi versions:
Bhul jaao beete hue kal ko,
Dil me basa lo aane wale pal ko,
Muskurao chaahe jo bhi ho pal,
khushiyan lekar aayega aane wala kal...Happy New Year

The bhai-log from Mumbai would also have some say:
Apun wishing you n ur family a wonderful, zabardast,
x-tra badhiya, x-tra special ekdum mast n dhinchak,
bole to ekdum jhakaas "HAPPY NEW YEAR"

Then there are those, who try to be “Jara hatke” :
No formalities....
No artificial wishes...
No decorative words...
Just from the deep in my heart...
Happy New Year!

And finally, my favourite. This one comes from none other than the new kid on the blog, dear ol’ Dobby.
If life is a garbage dump, I hope u are the incinerator.
If life is full of shit, hope u are Harpic.
If life is bad breath, hope u r pepsodent : Happy New year!
This is very typical of him, total crap! I must tell you, be around him when he gets into one of his moods…the fundas that come out will blow you away! For more, check out Dobby’s blog.

(Statutory warning : Continuous exposure to Dobby’s fundas can be injurious to human rationale)


As for me, how would I wish you all? Here..

Enjoy the year-to-bond...Happy 2-007!

(yes... I loved Casino Royale)