Me & Blind Date

When IBM posted me in Pune in early June last year, it gave me a chance to reunite with lots of my school friends. I had lost contact with most of them when I left Nagpur almost 5 years ago, but thanks to Pune being the IT and educational hub, most of us landed up here. Orkut, of course was always there to help out.

It all began one fine day, when we were all hanging out together. Since we were meeting after a really long time, there was lots to catch up on…junior college, graduation, jobs etc etc. Eventually the conversation moved to past/current girlfriends and boyfriends (as the case may be). One by one, they all spelt out their stories. When my turn came along, I just told them that I don’t have a girl friend right now, and never had any in the past either (which is true!). They refused to believe me, and insisted that I was not being honest. To end the argument, I passed an oft used remark “All I have is useless friends like you who do nothing to help me in this regard”. It was a sarcastic comment which generally doesn’t yield anything. But this time, someone actually took it seriously.

So a few days later, B offered to set me up on a blind date with a very good friend of hers. B thought that she would be a good match for me and we might hit it off. Though initially taken by surprise, I thought that since there is nothing to lose, why not give it a shot. I agreed. B refused to tell me anything about her, except her name and the fact that they were very good friends. Also, I was supposed to make it a formal date, complete with roses and chocolates. I reluctantly agreed.

Now B was supposed to decide on the time and venue and let us know, but she suddenly disappeared for a few days due to some work. Meanwhile she (my to-be-date) managed to extract my mail ID from one of B’s forwards (smart eh!) and sent me a mail directly. Though we initially thought of meeting over a weekend, I had some other plans for Saturday and she was not free on Sunday. So we decided to go out on some week day itself. The plan was for a movie and dinner, but between us we had already seen everything that was worth watch (which isn’t much considering the kind of movies coming out today). So it was to be just a dinner.

I was there at the decided place on time. I did not take any flowers for her, but I did pick up a chocolate. I was not sure what kind she liked, so I picked my favourite (Mars). I thought if she doesn't like it, I can have it myself. She was late as expected. (Why is it that girls can never make it on time?). Expecting this, I had picked to meet at crossword (smart na). Having not seen each other before, I was wondering how we would identify each other. The problem got solved when she gave me a call as soon as she reached the place, and at that time she was the only person around talking on phone. After the preliminaries, she suggested that we go this restaurant called ‘Horn OK Please’. All my previous attempts to get into this place were futile, since this place is horribly crowded over weekends. But this time, I managed to find a table. It was a dhaba theme restaurant, complete with artificial truck tyres. It was only after we occupied our places that we realized that we were both non-vegetarians, and this was a veg restaurant (bummer!). We got this table near a nice waterfall and keeping with the theme of the place, we ordered makkai di roti aur sarson da saag. She had never tried it before, so I suggested that she should.

B had not told us anything about the other person, so we had to start from scratch. During the first few minutes, I felt like I was back at one of the B-school interviews, trying to tell her everything about myself. Both being from Nagpur, we did end up having a lot in common to talk about. We ended up having a nice conversation over a surprisingly delicious dinner. The bill came. I offered to pay, she offered to split, I didn’t refuse. The dinner was followed by desserts at Naturals (the real ice-cream of Juhu scheme) after which we said our good byes and headed home. Thus ended my first blind date ever. I did have a good time, and I must thank B for this. She turned out to be a true friend.

Btw, this story is like one of those which we read in our Moral Science subject when we were kids. A nice story, followed by a moral. And this one is for all my female friends out there :

Take a cue from B…

My LOC (Love O' Cricket)

Meet MELLO...the official mascot of the 2007 cricket World cup.

Oh yeah…its world cup time again. The greatest cricket carnival has its stop at the Caribbean station this time around. And as before, Indian cricket team (oops! Make that Team India, else it may be considered blasphemy) is expected to come back home with the title. The great Indian fan has come to expect nothing less, specially after the team’s performance in the last world cup, and even the recently concluded twin series’ against WI & SL. I am one such fan too. And like everyone else, I have my own opinion on various matters.

First of all, it is sad what happened to Bob Woolmer. Though it is still not clear whether it was due to natural causes or homicide, cricket lost a great champion. I am a big fan of Hansie Cronje & Woolmer, for the way they made South Africa such a force to reckon with, without being nasty. (Sunny bhai, I am with you on the Aussie thing. Nice guys need not always finish last, as Roger Federer would demonstrate.) Its pains me that neither of them is alive today. May they rest in peace.

India’s loss to Bangladesh has come as a rude shock to the Indian cricket fan. The extreme reactions that it invoked were totally unwarranted. People say, “With all the experience we had, it’s a shame we lost.” I say, we had one bad day. Absolutely nothing went right for us that day (except for Zaheer and Munaf’s batting “exploits”) and such days are not uncommon for us. Also, give some credit to the Bangladesh team. They played superb cricket in all three departments and they displayed superb spirit too. Its not that it was totally out of blue. They defeated the mighty Aussies not so long ago, and begin the world cup by beating New Zealand. Kudos to their coach Dave Whatmore, who is once again showing his magic after SL’s ’96 triumph. Another testimony to what a good coach can do.

It took a world record thrashing of Bermuda to cool the tempers back home. Indians are good at accumulating these records. India always likes to be in the record books, it doesn’t care which end though. I am sure there are as many records made against the Indians, as there are those made by them.

It has all boiled down to the crucial India vs Sri Lanka match now. There are numerous permutations and combinations being discussed on TV channels and TOI. But the bottom line is, India HAS to beat Sri Lanka. And the implications of this results are mind boggling. If India fails to make it to the super 8, 150 million dollars worth of advertising revenue is at stake. There was a banner during the Bangladesh match that aptly summed up the kind of reactions Indians can expect if they return home soon. It said, “Go to Barbados (venue for our super 8 matches, if we qualify) or stay in Trinidad (Our current base)”. And Greg Chappell would definitely face the axe.

Personally I have something at stake too. My long time judaii from the idiot box was supposed to end come the world cup. But the Bangladesh defeat has put things in perspective. Dipayan says, “If India doesn’t qualify, then why bother”. I just hope India does a repeat of the ’99 world cup, where they thrashed SL under similar circumstances. Else, this picture might actually turn out to be true. (I dont want this road to the Indo-Pak peace process)

So, in chorus with the Pepsi Blue Billion, I go “Uh Ah India, Ah yeah India” (Whatever that is supposed to mean!)

Mera Pehla Project - adhura nahi raha.

Arrive Online….that is the name of my recently concluded project here at IBM. And how appropriate it is for me, considering that it was my first ever project in my professional career. And being a web developer, I can actually say, “I have Arrived, Online!”

On the occasion of the successful release, I am both delighted and pleased. Last night, I logged on to internet at home and hit the URL(Check it out here). And there it was, the pages that I had developed with my own hands, now on the internet, ready to be used by thousands of people and making life that much simpler for them. Let me tell you, the feeling is absolutely fantastic. Probably this is what job satisfaction feels like. I know I have written blogs earlier which are published, just like a website. But this is something which will actually be useful to lots of people.

I am not going to get into the technical details of the project, but as I was just chatting with Prabhat, he suggested that may be I should blog my experiences. Not a bad idea. So here’s the whole story.

It all started one fine day in October, when I was on “bench” and had no work at all. “Tring-tring” rang the phone, and that was my call of reckoning. The news was that there was someone who wanted me to join his team and work on a new project. I was introduced to the team, and thus began the journey. Starting from acquiring the requirements from the client, designing the pages, working out the nitty-gritties to learning all the processes that one has to go through while coding, every phase of the project was new to me, so I was continuously learning something everyday both on the technical front and also the ways of IBM. There were lots of ups and downs, delights (when some new idea begins to work) and the frustrations (when something goes wrong and you have no idea why it is so), it had the whole package.

When I was in the college, and we had our placements going on, I often wondered why these IT companies are recruiting on such a large scale. This was true with every company, and across the country. I also wondered why there are hundreds of such companies out there, and how do they all manage to survive. Every third human being in Pune is an IT professional, and I am sure the case is the same in places like Hyderabad and Bangalore also.

Today, I realise how tough it can be to design a software application. It took us almost 4 months to build an application that had basically just two main functions, and some 20 odd pages. Considering the rate at which internet is exploding, no wonder the industry has such huge requirements.

P.S: Why this title? Well when we were working on a dummy project during our initial days at IBM, the person who was incharge was giving us a tough time. One day, he explained that almost 80% projects in the industry end as failure, either due to financial constraints or due to time constraints. Ofcourse we never validated his theory, but today I feel like going up to that guy and say.."So you were saying...". He is onsite now, so I am deprived of that sadistic pleasure :-D.

Also, there is a reference to K2H2 too, SRK was all over TOI today, courtesy filmfare. Speaking of which, Hrithik Roshan Best Actor for Dhoom-2!!! Gimme a break...

Yr V Go

I just realised that my last post was just before Diwali. And here I am again, back with the same purpose. This way, my blog may soon turn into one of those SMSes from your friends that appear on the horizon only on festivals, anniversaries, birthdays and other such occasions. But then again, considering the number of festivals we Indians celebrate here, that would put me in the same league as maybe Seth or Guy (for the uninitiated, they are considered the blogging Gurus)!

Speaking of SMSes, unless you are a hermit who has taken refuge on top of Mt. Etna (If you are reading my blog, chances are you are not), you must be familiar with the SMS bombardment phenomenon that occurs around these “special” days. And statistics prove that New Year happens to be the worst of the lot. A typical student in a college or a guy working in an IT firm would average around 50 SMSes each, outgoing and incoming. In olden days (in terms of mobile revolution), this invariably led to networks getting jammed due to overload and hence, network operators resorted to blocking SMSes for a blanket period. But now, even they have become street smart. Instead, they have increased the rates of SMS for that particular day, thus not only saving themselves the trouble of jammed network, but also earning a few bucks in the process. Very smart. Seems to be the outcome of some new MBAs in their ranks.

Anyway, the SMSes that come our way (I am assuming you and me fall on the positive side of that average) tell a lot about the person who sends them. Atleast, from just reading the SMS, we can say something about the person on the other side. This is how :-

It all begins a few days before new year with something like this.

Don't open this for another 5 days...

(scroll down 2 or 3 screens)

Just as I thought, you couldn't wait...
Anyway Happy New Year in advance...remember, I may be the first one.

Nope, not a smart ass…I am sure he received it from someone else at a time when he had nothing better to do than forward it to me, and thus breaking the golden rule of originality (Originality is the art of hiding your source).

Around the same time, comes the new age SRK fan (Amitabh fan-Reloaded)

Happy New Year....
(scroll down)
Soch raha hai aaj kyun wish kiya?
Don jab chahata hai, tab wish karta hai...

Of course, a new entrant this year was the senti-wala…
As this year is coming to an end, I wish to THANK people who have touched various walks of my LIFE, in their own different ways!
Thoughtful FRIENDS who have shown their concern and have always been there for me. Life becomes meaningful by presence of such lovely friends like u!
Do remain so dear...always..take care and thanks once AGAIN!
(Check out the Caps)…
this from a guy who recently discovered the emotional side of himself (where the hell was that in college!)…read found a girlfriend, atlast!



And then, on the New Year eve, come:

The boring
Before the Networks get jammed –Wish you a Happy New Year 2@@7…the year which starts & ends on a Monday
(Whatever the second sentence is supposed to mean!)

and the not so boring
Isse pehle is 2007 ast ho,
2006 ka calender nasht ho,
aap nashe mein mast ho,
mobile ka network vyast ho,
dua he 2007 aapke liye jabardast ho!



Finally, on the D-Day, comes the real stuff. This includes:

The Professional one:
May all good things come your way as the year unfolds & God's bountiful blessings be upon you whole year through! Happy New Year...XYX n Family.
Expect this from your superiors at job or some uncles in the neighbourhood, or even some of your dad’s friends.

If you happen to have some girls in your circle of friends, expect something like this:
I wish you a fantastic January,
Lovable February,
Marvellous March,
Foolish April,
Enjoyable May,
Successful June,
Wonderful July,
Independent August,
Sizzling September,
Tastiest October,
Beautiful November,
Happiest December...Happy New Year...2007.

Then come the Wordsworth & Tennyson fans:
Wishes never turn old,
neither can be brought or sold.
They may reach you early or late,
but if true, turn away all the blues...
So here's wishing you Happy New Year.

Not far behind, would be our desi versions:
Bhul jaao beete hue kal ko,
Dil me basa lo aane wale pal ko,
Muskurao chaahe jo bhi ho pal,
khushiyan lekar aayega aane wala kal...Happy New Year

The bhai-log from Mumbai would also have some say:
Apun wishing you n ur family a wonderful, zabardast,
x-tra badhiya, x-tra special ekdum mast n dhinchak,
bole to ekdum jhakaas "HAPPY NEW YEAR"

Then there are those, who try to be “Jara hatke” :
No formalities....
No artificial wishes...
No decorative words...
Just from the deep in my heart...
Happy New Year!

And finally, my favourite. This one comes from none other than the new kid on the blog, dear ol’ Dobby.
If life is a garbage dump, I hope u are the incinerator.
If life is full of shit, hope u are Harpic.
If life is bad breath, hope u r pepsodent : Happy New year!
This is very typical of him, total crap! I must tell you, be around him when he gets into one of his moods…the fundas that come out will blow you away! For more, check out Dobby’s blog.

(Statutory warning : Continuous exposure to Dobby’s fundas can be injurious to human rationale)


As for me, how would I wish you all? Here..

Enjoy the year-to-bond...Happy 2-007!

(yes... I loved Casino Royale)

T.G.I.F.

I simply LOVE fridays. There is nothing that can match the feelings that you have on a friday evening. I had often heard many seniors and read a lot of jokes and satires on the Monday vs Friday debate. But could never really make out as to what the big deal was. Being used to the 5-day-week schedule during my NIT days, I never felt so exhilarated on a fri-night. Ofcourse, being a mechanical engg, bunking was a common phenomenon and as such, college was never really a bother for us. But now that I have been in the corporate world for almost 4 months, I have begun to appreciate the beauty of Friday. Thank GOD I did not opt for a job in a core company! Here is a small video that amply illustrates how I feel about mondays and fridays now...





He he..HAPPY DIWALI folks! Have a rocking year ahead.

Humko Deewana(MAD) kar gaya

Who the heck is the person in that picture??? Can't place him anywhere? Let me help you out...imagine him with a beard and a baseball cap.

There you are...of course, it is our own "beloved" Himeshbhai (I know i dont live in Gujarat anymore, but old habits die hard). Its just that with the Ganesh Puja season back here, and Pune, with its omnipresent pandals (Pune averages one pandal every 100 meters of the so called roads), definitely doesn’t have much choice when it comes to music. As a result, some ol' feelings are rekindled and here I am, with another round of my PDA (Public display of "Affection", the latest acronym I have learned, thanks to TOI). Though Nikhil is the one who got me thinking on these lines…

What 'use' can we put Himesh reshammiya songs to?? These are what i came up with...

1. Nikhil asks: Got anything for a headache?
Vamsee Replies: Lots of Himesh songs...want me to share the folder over LAN?

2. You have recently launched a new brand of razor...u can use himesh's songs for "BEFORE" and Coffee-with-Karan clips for "AFTER".

3. Himesh Concerts on LOC & POK: No need of all those peace talks and Agra summits. One concert, and all the terrorists will vacate the place in no time. So what if the people also run away, all we want is the land and the flora/fauna, right?

4. Introducing a 4th degree of torture: Himesh songs...Sources reveal that Al Gharib is using them on prisoners and this has the human rights activists raising a lot of hue and cry.

5. Ganesh Mandal: You have ur exams going (exams happen almost all around the year now a days) and the Ganesh Mandal near your house is celebrating noisily with loudspeakers n all. Get back at them by secretly replacing their "Jai Ganesh Deva" CDs with Himesh CDs.

6. End of India's Olympic Medal Drought: We are the only country in the world who has Himesh. Let our scientists work on him and develop anti-Himesh vaccines for all our athletes. And then, play Himesh songs at full volume at the 2016 Delhi Olympic games...

7. Set it as hello tune for someone u "love", Airtel now gives u an option of caller specific hello tune.

8. Ur GF/wife's name is Sayyoni. Well, "I LOVE U SAYYONI...."

9. UNITED WE STAND AGAINST HIMESH: Use them as a riot-control measure. When the fighting groups find a common enemy (Himesh songs), they will stop fighting, join hands and that should bring an end to Godhras and Babri Masjids.

10. You own a Bajaj Platina and you want ur ringtone to complement your bike.

11. The new-age Exorcist: Himesh songs can become the latest tool of your next door exorcist(Na na, your neighbour is not one, I was just using the phrase)...one songs, and good bye ghosts (After all, even they were Humans once).

12. D Cold Total ads : The punchline reads :"One dose will turn ur kid from Himesh to SP"

13. Use it in training sessions in IT companies.
Do Tarah ki hoti hai "JAVA"..............
Mar "JAVA" , Mit "JAVA"

14. Having early morning bowel-movement problems? The sure shot solution....HIMESH Songs!
(Ek bar aaja aaja, aaja aaja, aajaa...)

Water, Water......EVERYWHERE!

I hear thunder, I hear thunder.

Hark don't you? Hark don't you?

Pitter, patter raindrops,

Pitter, patter raindrops,

I'm wet through;

so are you.

This nursery rhyme really sums up my past few days. It been raining cats and dogs and every god damn animal on the streets. Really sickening. Added to that the pathetic roads of this city, makes me dread every time i step of my house.

Anyway, yesterday was FRIENDSHIP DAY. When I got the first of the smses at 12 midnight (what a perfect way to disturb a sleeping soul!), it suddenly stuck me that i don't know why this day is celebrated! I mean, there had to be some reason, like valentine's day being St. Valentine's birthday and children's day being Nehru's b'day (Exact 9 months the difference, what coincidence!). I asked Dipu about it in the morning, and turns out, even he didnt know. Times of India had no special article on this (I was expecting a whole supplement, going by their usual standards). So I turned to my most trusted source of information, dear ol' wiki. Surprise surprise, even wiki did not have a proper explanation for that. All it said was that this day was first celebrated in US in 1935 due to some declaration of the U.S. congress. How strange! So it continued through out the day and late into the night, the barrage of "happy friendship day" messages in all it varied forms. Poems in English, Hindi(Hinglish) shayari, witty remarks, picture messages or just simple plain texts. Plain silly to serious senti ones. But the best part is, they kept me entertained throughout the day.

How did i spend this day? In the best way possible (specially in these bloody rains):

In my room, wrapped in a blanket and enjoying an 8 hour long F.R.I.E.N.D.S marathon..hows that!

Btw, I watched Tokyo Drift over the weekend along with Soumen. It was really awesome. Drifting at its best! I really enjoyed the movie, never mind what TOI had to say about it. If u ask me, its a MUST WATCH!

Times of India though carried a very interesting thought :

"Friendship marks a life even more deeple than love. Love risks degeneration into obsession, but friendship is never anything but sharing"

My take on that :

AMEN!